“You’ve been criticising yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” – Louise Hay
Self-criticism can feel like a relentless inner voice, constantly pointing out what’s wrong, where you’ve failed, or how you don’t measure up. While a little self-reflection can be healthy, excessive self-criticism often leads to anxiety, low self-esteem, and even depression. It can hold you back from pursuing opportunities, connecting with others, or simply enjoying life.
Cognitive Analytic Therapy (CAT) offers a compassionate and structured way to break free from the cycle of self-criticism. By helping you uncover its roots and understand how it affects your behaviour, CAT empowers you to replace harsh self-judgment with self-compassion and growth.
Understanding Self-Criticism
Self-criticism often stems from early life experiences. You may have internalised the expectations of critical parents, teachers, or peers, leading to a belief that you must be perfect to be accepted. Over time, this can create patterns of self-blame and doubt, even when things aren’t your fault.
For instance, imagine you made a mistake at work. Instead of seeing it as a learning opportunity, your inner critic might shout, “You’re incompetent. Everyone will think you’re a failure.” This thought creates feelings of shame and may lead to avoidance behaviours, like hesitating to take on new challenges.
How CAT Works to Overcome Self-Criticism
Cognitive Analytic Therapy helps you break free from self-critical patterns by:
1. Identifying the Root Cause
Through collaborative discussions, CAT helps you explore where your self-critical voice originated. For example, if you grew up in an environment where praise was rare and mistakes were punished, CAT can help you understand how those experiences shaped your inner dialogue.
2. Mapping Out Patterns
CAT uses tools like diagrams to visually map the cycle of self-criticism, showing how negative thoughts lead to unhelpful behaviours, such as procrastination or withdrawing from others. Seeing this cycle laid out can be a powerful step toward breaking it.
3. Creating Healthier Responses
Once the cycle is clear, CAT guides you in developing new ways to respond to situations. For instance, instead of thinking, “I’m a failure,”you might reframe it as, “I made a mistake, but I can learn from it.” This shift encourages growth and self-compassion.
David’s Journey
David, a 40-year-old lawyer, constantly felt like he wasn’t good enough. Despite achieving professional success, he criticised himself for every minor mistake, replaying them in his head for days. Through CAT, David traced this pattern back to his childhood, where he often heard, “You can do better,” from his parents.
By mapping out his behaviours and learning to challenge his self-critical thoughts, David began replacing them with affirming ones, like “I did my best, and that’s enough.” Over time, he noticed a significant improvement in his confidence and overall happiness.
Think of Chidi Anagonye from The Good Place. His crippling self-doubt and overthinking often stemmed from an inability to make decisions for fear of making the wrong choice. Like Chidi, many people live with a relentless inner critic. CAT provides the tools to quiet that voice and embrace imperfection as part of growth.
Practical Tips to Break Self-Critical Patterns
1. Keep a Self-Criticism Journal: Write down instances when your inner critic takes over. Reflect on what triggered it and how you might respond differently.
2. Practice Self-Compassion: When you catch yourself being harsh, ask, “Would I say this to a friend?” Replace critical thoughts with kind, supportive ones.
3. Focus on Strengths: List your achievements and qualities that make you proud. Revisit this list when self-doubt creeps in.
4. Seek Feedback: Sometimes, an outside perspective can help you see yourself more accurately. Ask trusted friends or colleagues for input.
5. Visualise Success: Picture yourself responding to challenges with confidence and grace. This can help reinforce positive behaviours.
Want to Learn More?
• Explore relational dynamics in “Understanding Relational Patterns: How CAT Can Help.”
• Discover ways to heal emotional wounds in “Healing Emotional Wounds Through Cognitive Analytic Therapy.”
Self-criticism can feel like a constant battle, but it doesn’t have to define your life. Through Cognitive Analytic Therapy, you can understand where this inner voice comes from, challenge its assumptions, and develop healthier, more compassionate ways of thinking. If you’re ready to silence your inner critic and embrace your potential, contact Arcadian Clinic today to start your journey.
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